How it begins . . .

KP5 front


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Here's what my publisher says:

THE KILLER POET'S GUIDE TO IMMORTALITY is the astonishing first novel by AB Bard.  Part urban fantasy, part crime novel, part sci-fi, part trenchant social critique, this hilarious & jarring fun ride is

A hit of acid distilled into words.  
NOW AVAILABLE!

"Pure blasphemy.  I'd like to hang AB Bard next to Galileo."
~ Pope "Eggs" Benedict XVI

"Icky."
~ Laura Bushy

READ A REVIEW - "The stereotype of the starving, idealistic poet is one of the most wearied clichés out there. However, the protagonist of this little paperback is anything but cliché. This stereotypical poet gets so desperate for attention, he resorts to killing people and attaching his poems to the bodies of his victims. His resulting “memoir” is a manic, sardonic cocktail of crime fiction, literary thriller, cultural commentary, and provocative poetry. Above all, Killer Poet’s Guide can be described as something tragically elusive in our modern entertainment industry flooded with adaptations, sequels, and genre stratification—a new story that is absolutely original. . . ."  Brendan Clark - TImestage Embassy (Brendan is a buyer for Village Books in Bellingham, WA).

CLICK HERE to read the rest of the review . . . 

DIGITAL JOURNAL INTERVIEW w/ AB BARD - 
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EXAMINER INTERVIEW w/ AB BARD!!! -
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Excerpt from THE KILLER POET'S GUIDE TO IMMORTALITY by AB Bard (© 2012 Wry Ink Publishing LLC, all rights reserved)

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Q: How many Gods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: To get to the other side.
 ;-)
OR:
A rabbi, a cardinal, an atheist and the Killer Poet are stranded together in a lifeboat.  The rabbi wrings his hands together and cries, “Oy, God is punishing us!”  The cardinal says, “Have no fear; God is eternal life.”  The atheist says, “There is no God.”  Being sensitive to the scars left by centuries of oppression and gefilte fish, the Killer Poet feeds the rabbi a steaming bowl of Cajun jambalaya with shrimp and spicy pork sausage.  Being sensitive to linguistic ambiguity, the Killer Poet releases the cardinal to fly into blue sky, thus embracing the homonym’s avian connotation. Being sensitive to ontological frisson, the Killer Poet’s knife proves the atheist right and wrong with a single thrust.
;-);-)
I wanted to open with a joke.  I have no patience for the humorless, monomaniacal type of serial killer.  They give all serial killers a bad name.
Emoticon, emoticon, emoticon.

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